Maryam Ismail
9 min readOct 16, 2019


Image created by Ahmed Shalaby

Taking Seconds: Allah Warned You, And You Still Did It

Does polygamy oppress women? No. Do people oppress each other? Yes.

Polygamy, today, can work, but in rare cases. I have seen a first wife pick the second, another woman tells her husband she needs a break, so go for it, and a brother came home with a new wife and it’s all good.

But not everyone can do that.

Many women and this includes me, are NOT ready to share their man with anyone for any reason. Some Muslims will say, I feel like this because I am under the influence of western life style. I disagree, because even Aisha, the mother of the believers, had a hard time dealing at with her jealousy and living with co-wives. And this was before there was any ‘West’ to be spoken of.

This is not about Islam or Allah’s commands and rules and teachings in the Quran; they are perfect, but humans are not. This is about how after an onslaught of islamophobia, confused Salafism, war on terror, and social media manipulation many Muslims are utterly lost.

Ok, so before you throw me in the Kufar dustbin, hear me out.

Perhaps in the Prophet’s Arabia, it was blessing. However, as far as 2019 Muslims go, let’s just say, many of us are not ready to live that P-life, yet. This is not to say that polygamy cannot work, it can, if people are honest and realistic. However, some think it’s just a game and hardly ever think about the consequences.

Jazak Allah Khair Ya Efendi

This article was inspired in part by, a statement made last March by Ahmed Al-Tayeb, the Grand Shaikh of Al Azhar, who was perhaps the only Islamic authority who had the guts to call Muslim men and women out on the havoc they are causing through their misuse and abuse of this marriage option:

“Without exaggeration, I can say 90% of those who enter into polygamy are committing some form of injustice to their wives, wives’ families, and the children within these marriages. Many look only at the part of the verse that says, ‘Marry two, three, or four,’ without looking at the words that come before that or after.”

Here is what comes after this verse:

“If you fear that you cannot be just, then, marry only one; because, We know you cannot be just”



Maryam Ismail

Mom. Journalist. Pizza maker New School for Social Research Alum, MA in Sociology and Historical Studies.